*if you’d rather hear me read to you :)
Did 2023 feel like an awkward year to anyone else?
It was the tail end of a global pandemic (the aftershock, if you will) and – in hindsight – seemed like the slow, unsteady remembering of what life used to be like.
Weird time glitches discombobulate my memory as I sort through highlights, but a few clear celebrations stand out:
🧘🏻♀️ Completed my first Vipassana sit: 10 days of silent meditation
🕊️ Saw my 外公 (wài gōng; grandpa) in my hometown of 长沙 (zhǎng shā; Changsha) before he passed in July
🎤 Delivered more voice over, more consistently, with more range
🌮 Work wise, Jack in the Box became the #1 Most Engaged quick service brand on TikTok and I got to produce 3 stand-up comedy shows rooted in my second love: basketball
The highlight reel looks+sounds cute (when I decide to share), but who has the energy to share when learning the latest TikTok trend for digital life feels as exhausting as navigating the visceral challenges of real life?
In the day-to-day of it all, my emotions threatened to overwhelm me, like a wave that was twice the size of anything I’d ever surfed. A true water baby: I cried… *a lot*. And there was more than one instance where I wanted to throw something, anything glass or delicate to feel the satisfaction of immediate energy transfer and dissolution.
Somewhere deep in the jumble of
f e e l i n g s
I realized that navigating these emotions – understanding them, articulating them, honoring them, transmuting them – has been the invitation all along. These reactions are my body’s natural, instinctive responses; innate cues if I choose to listen to her wisdom.
So I returned to the basics: breathing, drinking water, sitting still.
And in those moments of stillness, I listened.
I listened to the steady, perfect rhythm of a heartbeat I’ve never had to second guess.
I listened to the inhales and exhales that infused life force into every last inch of my (artistic) being.
Every day I listened I was reminded of the perfection of this journey.
A journey that’s more intricately interconnected than any of us humans could fathom.
A journey birthed from love and grace and patience and compassion.
This journey is the ultimate choose-your-own-adventure, with every day an opportunity to get back to the basics. To celebrate and honor nature’s cycles:
What are you giving life to?
What needs to die?
There is no time but the present.
So, if you’re looking for a (cliche) sign, this is it.
May 2024 be a reminder of how transformative the basics can be.
With deep love and gratitude,
沈鑫 // Em Shen